Ah my first guest blog. Hi I’m bear, i go through stupid mundane adventures. Here is one of them.
So i took spin class today. Before i took the class i went to costco to finish up some christmas shopping. I had a slight rumbly in me tumbly so i grabbed a costco hot dog. One hot dog and a drink for $1.62! come on! really! how do you resist that. Of course me having bad pipes and all, I start burping in spin class.
So here’s the thing, no ones afraid of their own brew right! So I’m burping away not noticing the digested rotten hotdog stench coming from my mouth. In the corner of my eye i could see this girl next to me, waving her hands in front of her face violently. When i say violently i mean she almost fell off her bike. Took me a bit to put it together, thats when i realized those were my burp stinks she was trying to fan away!
For a second i felt embarrassed, then i saw how dramatic she was. What a attention whore, she kept waving her hands in front of her face like it was tear gas. So i burped more, covertly blowing it towards her. The more i blew the harder she waved, it looked like there were bees attacking her, it was great! It was especially fun during the intense sections of class, she nearly fell off waving her hands.
As the class progressed the stink burps decreased . After finishing our cool down we rolled our bikes to the back of the room. The attention whore and i crossed paths. I was a bit nervous knowing that she knew it was me. We both stopped and looked at each other, she gave me an icy stare. Right on cue i snuck in a silent burp and let it out through my nose. She let out loud “THAT IS DISGUSTING!” Using my burp as a diversion i darted past the yoga class coming threw the door. My escape was successful. As I left I could hear her gripes and complains growing distant, I thought to myself “what a bitch!”
What’s the moral of the story kids? Don’t be a bitch!